MentalPause and Other Joys of Aging!

I remember my Mom often joking about those mind-freeze moments in her mid-life years.  She called those times "Mentalpause".  At the time I kind of got that they had to do with that "change of life" moment for women, but I had no idea truly how it really affected women... until of course it happened to me.

Ah... the joys of "that" time in a woman's life... when nature stops it's usual "cycle"... the body starts to fill out like never before... and the brain stops cold.  Then, of course there are the extra special treats like night sweats, hot flashes and insomnia.  Oh the joys of being a woman!!

I'm not sure what exactly changed, but ever since we arrived home from our trip those little "treats" of this process have gotten worse again.  It had been months since nary a hot flash would creep up my body wanting me to catch the nearest breeze.  Oh to have just a stray sweat back then!

Perhaps the heat of the Caribbean boiled my blood to a new temperature.  I seriously don't know what it is, but I am one hot non-mama mama these days!  Some nights it literally feels like my mattress is on fire as I whip the covers off, gasping for air.  One of those big industrial size fans that blow the model off the runway would come in handy about now!  (Hubby is enjoying this to some degree as my old flannel jammies are now history!!)

With these night sweats comes the extra special delight of insomnia.  I've always been a night-owl (I think it's genetic!) but this is getting ridiculous!  Last night, I didn't wind down until sometime between 12:30-1am (even knowing I'd need to be up early for Abide).  I couldn't fall asleep for quite some time (maybe 2ish?).  Then... almost like clockwork, 4am rolls around and I am awake.  Some mornings by 5-5:30 I am wide awake and could almost get up and start my day... but I don't.  I do use that time to pray though.  Then, when Hubby gets up at 6:15 for work, I am awake again, hoping and praying I can get back to sleep.  Some mornings I do - others not so much.  When I do fall asleep, I end up sleeping in longer than I'd hoped and my day slips away from me super fast.

I won't even start on the lovely effects this insomnia is having on my face.  Let's just say on our next trip I won't need a suitcase because the bags under my eyes will be sufficient to pack in ALL I need!  YIKES!  Thank goodness for foundation!!

All this whining of mine is a little in jest I must say.   In all honesty, although it can be unpleasant at times, and super difficult to know how to dress anymore because one never knows when you'll want to strip down to your skivvies in one brief moment (only to be chilled the next minute), it could be worse.  I could have my period again!  (Sorry men who may read this... TMI I'm sure!!)

So Long Summer

Today is a brisk reminder that we have bid a fond adieu to summer.  The skies are grey with a bitter chill and the rain has brought a damp cold that settles into the bones.  The mercury (or more aptly my iPhone weather app) says the temperature is 43F degrees.  And to that I say... "I need a hot flash about now!".

I have been complaining for months about how hot I am, how clammy I feel with the barage of menopausal hot flashes I've had to endure but today, oh how I'd love one about now.  I am bundled up in my corduroy jeans, long sleeve shirt and cardigan and STILL I am cold.  As we head this afternoon to see Courageous at the theater, I am seriously considering pulling out my winter jacket.  The idea of mittens is entering my brain too but I refuse to give into that thought as it would feel a betrayal to Autumn if I head straight away into the winter wear.

All I can think of is 40 days!  In 40 days I'll be boarding a ship in SC heading to sunshine and warmth.  Oh how I am longing for that today.

As I get ready for the movie today, let me leave you with the Casting Crowns video of "Courageous", from the movie's soundtrack.  I'll be back later to give my review of the movie:

What a Fungi!

Now friends... I'm going to warn you in advance.  Today's initial post may gross you out.  If you're eating, I suggest you put whatever it is down and grab a tissue in case I make you gag.  You've been warned!! ha ha

So... for our ladies group banquet in mid-May, to compliment my coral top and white pants ensemble, I found the perfect orange colored nail polish and applied it on my then "perfect" toes.  Weeks ago, I started feeling a slight throbbing in my middle toe of my left foot (wasn't that a movie?  My Left Foot?  I digress).  Seeing a small "bruise-like" mark on that toe, I decided to remove my polish and take a peek at what was going on down there.  To my horror and shock I found that my toenail was starting to look weird with parts of the nail seeming to lift off my toe.  Hmmm...  I began to apply an anti-fungal cream, figuring that it was the most likely culprit.  Within days the "bruise" looking mark had disappeared and the nail was looking somewhat better but still rather funky.

Today, I finally decided that it was time to go have a doctor look at it to confirm what was going on.  Being the google-aholic that I am, I was starting to freak myself out looking at the ghastly photos of other people's disgusting toe fungases and that's what spurred the rush to the walk-in clinic.

As expected, the doctor confirmed my suspicions and I do indeed have a toe fungus.  Great!  Fortunately, she told me I came in at the right time and it can be treated and should return to it's former beauty within ... months.  Oh well... guess I'll have to withstand ugly toes this summer.

Now... to complete this tale of toe, I mean woe, I've taken a picture so you can see my funky toe.  (This is where the aforementioned warning comes in... if you have a queasy tummy, you may want to rush past this photo to get to the 30 Day Photo Fun challenge picture.  This is NOT todays!!

Fortunately my fungas doesn't look as gross as some out there!  Phew!

Okay... enough of THAT... on to today's pic... .which I of course am again cheating on because, well, I had no time today with the toe emergency and all, to take today's photo.  

Day 24 ~ LOVE

This picture was taken on the second "formal" night of our cruise in January.  My Hubby is the LOVE of my life and I still pinch myself that he picked me to be his life partner and wife.  He is everything I ever dreamed of and so much more.  He constantly teaches me about God's love and grace and I feel abundantly blessed to be called his wife!  I LOVE that after almost 17 years of marriage, we are more in LOVE today than we were back then!   (as she sighs a big dreamy sigh).

Gotta run... the treadmill is calling my name (as is my Hubby!).

God's Got My Back

This is a post today about "backsides"... one serious... one not so much.  I'll start with the serious.

Tonight is our big Annual Abide Spring Banquet for the ladies of our church.  My team and I have been feverishly preparing things for tonight and despite a few moments of extreme panic earlier in the week, I am feeling pretty good about things this morning.  One of the things that still has my tummy in knots though is the fact that I am emcee for the night.  As facilitator this is my regular role on Thursday mornings, but somehow, with new ladies added to the mix tonight, those nerves of last September are beginning to percolate within my stomach.

It was around this time last year that I felt God calling me to the role of facilitator in the group.  At the time I felt like Moses when God called him to his ministry of heading to Egypt to confront Pharaoh to let the Israelites leave Egypt.  Funny how those words from Exodus 4 came right back to me this morning as I spent some time with God.

10  But Moses pleaded with the Lord, “O Lord, I’m not very good with words. I never have been, and I’m not now, even though you have spoken to me. I get tongue-tied, and my words get tangled.”

11  Then the Lord asked Moses, “Who makes a person’s mouth? Who decides whether people speak or do not speak, hear or do not hear, see or do not see? Is it not I, the Lord? 12 Now go! I will be with you as you speak, and I will instruct you in what to say.”

13  But Moses again pleaded, “Lord, please! Send anyone else.”

I remember questioning God like Moses... "are you SURE God?"  but I knew it was what God was calling me to so I obediently followed and here we are... on the last night of the Abide year.  I survived!  ha ha

What I found amazing this morning is once again how in tune my Heavenly Father is with my heart, my fears, my worries and my insecurities.  This was the little message that went along with those verses above in the Life Application Study Bible reading for today:

Moses pleaded with God to let him out of his mission. After all, he was not a good speaker and would probably embarrass both himself and God. But God looked at Moses' problem quite differently. All Moses needed was some help, and who better than God to help him say and do the right things? God made his mouth and would give him the words to say. It is easy for us to focus on our weaknesses, but if God asks us to do something, then he will help us get the job done. If the job involves some of our weak areas, then we can trust that he will provide words, strength, courage, and ability where needed.

Seriously.  Is my middle name Moses?  This message was exactly what I needed this morning as I have stressed and worried over whether I would say the wrong thing tonight or look like a fool.  My friends know that in my attempts to be funny, at times something inappropriate or bizarre will fly out of my mouth before I can catch it.  Doing so in front of a new group of ladies ... not exactly the impression I long for this evening.  I love that I don't have to worry though.  Instead, I can just rest in my Almighty Father and trust that He will "provide the words, strength, courage and ability" I need tonight.  Thank you Jesus!

So... with that saddlebag of worry off my back, I'm going to head down and have my workout this morning, shower, do my hair, nails and makeup, put on my outfit and "break a leg" as they say in the theater world... which brings me to the other backside story for you... the not so serious one...

Okay... I'm all about transparency as any of you who either know me personally know or read my blog faithfully know.  There is not much I don't reveal.  Mostly because I have nothing to hide and also I am able to  laugh at myself and hope that my mistakes or struggles help or encourage someone else.  Well... let me be completely transparent today when I tell you what happened to me this week.

So Thursday, :Hubby and I are getting ready to go see my youngest niece in her high school play.  She got the lead role in "Annie" and we didn't want to miss her big acting "debut".  I decided to wear my newer pair of Eddie Bauer jeans.  They are dark denim and if I'm honest (which you know I will be), they were never really my favorites.  Before we left I sat down at my computer to do a few last minute things for the banquet before we head out the door.

Hubby opened the car while he locked the front door and I plop down into the passenger seat of our little red Honda.  All of a sudden I feel this big "Riiiiippppp" in my backside.  NO WAY, I think to myself.  Hubby gets into the driver's seat beside me and before he gets the key into the ignition I ask him for the keys.  "Uh honey... I need to go change my pants" I tell him as I get out of my seat and show him my butt (which of course I hadn't seen at this point).  He gives a stunned giggle as I run into the house.

Upstairs in our room before I toss the obviously VERY POORLY MADE jeans into garbage, I take a look in the long mirror in our room and see this:

Okay... you can stop laughing at my bright red undies!  Hey... at least I was wearing some... and not a thong!  What makes this a ridiculous event is that a) the jeans weren't tight - I'd lost 3 lbs so they were much looser than they have been and b) I haven't worn them that often.  I've had this pair for maybe a year or 2 but I rarely wear them because I didn't really like the denim... now I know why!  I am "torn" now about replacing them because I've only bought Eddie Bauer jeans the past decade because they fit me so well but apparently they can't be trusted anymore.  I will be on the quest for affordable (I'm Scottish so I don't like to spend too much $ on clothes) and properly fitting jeans.  Ugh!  Not something I'm looking forward to.

So... after this very long post I have a question for you my "curvy" hour-glass shaped  readers... what kind of jeans do you buy?

Prayers Needed and Random Dozen

It's Wednesday and that means it's time for Random Dozen again.    Before I get to that though, let me update you first on the latest Krissy & the Triplets news.

I got a call tonight from my sister-in-law.  Krissy has been admitted to the hospital for precautionary measures.  Her cervix, although still stitched, is acting up a bit and the doctor felt it was safer to keep her in hospital.  Also, her tests for gestational diabetes were inconclusive (one being negative, another test being slightly positive).  They want to monitor her condition and keep her and the babies safe.  Praise the Lord though, so far her heart is holding up and the babies are all doing well - now over 1 lb each!

One drawback to Krissy being in the hospital is the H1N1 virus.  Four other pregnant woman are in the same hospital suffering with the flu virus and they are suggesting that both Krissy & Paul get the H1N1 shot.  Many things to pray for this week but Praise the Lord, so far they've made it to 26 weeks!  They've planned her "due date" or rather "C date" (for her Cesarean section) for December 17th at 8am, unless the God (and the babies) decide earlier.

We would appreciate your continued prayers as the next little glitches in this road come for Krissy & Paul.  God's peace is needed as well as His comfort for poor Krissy, who I have no doubt will be bored out of her mind lying in a hospital bed for the next 7 weeks.  Poor Paul too, please pray for stamina and strength as he has to work and then travel to see Krissy in hospital and get the proper rest he needs before the triplets are born.  So many things to ask prayer for... just pray as God leads!  Thanks!!!

And now on to the Random Dozen for this week!

Thanks to Linda at 2nd Cup of Coffee and her creative mind for giving many of us a boost in our blog posts on Wednesdays.  Last week I wasn't able to participate but tonight I am making time. 





1. Tell me something about your favorite teacher.  Mrs. Spears was my 2nd grade teacher.  She had the coolest "Seal-skin" fur coat and I would LOVE spending my lunch recess, standing outside beside her, petting her coat.  I can even see myself standing at the chalkboard, smacking the brushes to get the chalk off them.  Weird what we remember!

2. Tell me about one pivotal moment in your life. One pivotal moment in my life was when I was being hired by "Youth for Christ" as a missionary to high school kids in my province.  I wanted so desperately to go ANYWHERE but Toronto, but as I drove home from my interview I "heard" God's still small voice say to me, "But where is the greatest need?"  "Crap" I thought.  "I'm going to Toronto".  Thankfully I was obedient though.  It was at this particular position in that particular church that I was introduced to my hubby!  Had I not listened to God, who knows where I'd be (or who, if anyone, I'd be married to today).  Phew... glad I listened to Him!

3. About favorite colors--a lot of people will ask you what it is, but I want to know why it is. What feeling or memory does it evoke?  My favorite color is light pink ... as in pastel pink.  This color makes me think of soft, fluffy things like cotton candy, and it's just a romantic, sweet, girly-girl color that makes me feel feminine and romantic.

4. What's a sure sign that you're getting older?  How much space can I take up for this question?  Is it the wrinkles on my face?  Is it the peri-menopausal symptoms?  Is it the creaky bones?  Oh my... too many things to list!

5. Please don't sermonize, but Halloween--is it a yes or no for you?  As a kid I LOVED Halloween... dashing from house to house with my BFF with pillowcases in hand, begging candy from the kind neighbors.  As an adult... tolerate it... sometimes.  I enjoy seeing the cute little kids all dressed up - so sweet and innocent.  But I HATE the dark, ghoulish teenagers and kids who come to my door with evil looking costumes.  It bothers my spirit inside me and I tend to let hubby hand out the candy because I can't bear getting too close to the dark/evil costumes.  Does that make any sense?

6. What's your favorite musical?  Hmm... I LOVED Disney's Beauty and the Beast when I saw it in Toronto twice.  LOVED Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat and Mamma Mia!  But Phantom of the Opera and it's spectacular music would have to be my favorite musical theater.  As for musical movies... that one is easy... White Christmas!

7. Are you more of a city mouse or country mouse?  Um... a suburban mouse?  I grew up sort of in the "country" and it has tremendous benefits but living in the city is good because of the nightlife and easy access to amenities but I hate actually living "in the city" so... I think somewhere in between is my preference.  Presently, where I live, I'd like a little less city and a little more country!

8. Did you know that it is possible, for a small fee, to name a real star after someone? (It's true! Google it!) If someone were to name a star for you, would you appreciate it for its whimsy and romance, or would you say, "Are you kidding me? For $19.95 we could have gone to the movie and actually bought popcorn."  I remember seeing this concept in the movie, "A Walk to Remember" and thought it romantic because the main character loved searching the stars with her telescope so... for those who enjoy astrology I think it's a great idea.  For me... I'll take the movie thank you!

This question comes from Paula at His Ways Are Not Our Ways.

9. What's the craziest thing you've ever been doing and texted during it? I only thought of this b/c I was about to try to text during my walking video but I didn't.  I haven't been doing anything because believe it or not... I am a texting virgin.  I have no clue how to text.  Only texted once and it consisted of saying.. "OK" :-)

Paula, you do know that this blog is rated G, right?

10. "It's not a party unless _______."  I'm there! lol  Just kidding... sort of.

11. When you're stuck in traffic or a waiting room, what do you do to pass the time? PS: There are no magazines available.  Sometimes I will people watch, other times pray, other times start up  a conversation with the person beside me.  Just depends I guess.  I can amuse myself pretty easily when I need to.

12. If you weren't yourself, would you be friends with you?  I would like to think so.  I think I'm a pretty loyal friend so I would want that part of me.

If you want to join in on the fun, hop over to Linda's and join in the fun!  Use the link above to get to her blog!

Lost Filter

I lost my filter.  No... not the coffee maker kind.  Not even the one in the car engine, the furnace or where ever else a handy filter might come in around the house.  Nope.  The filter I lost is the one that filters through what runs from my brain and out of my mouth.

I'm not sure how or where I lost this filter.  Hubby seems to think it started around the time of heightened peri-menopause symptoms.  Nonetheless, not having this very important filter may cause a little embarrassment and a lot of apologizing in the near future unless I can find a new one.

You see... things pop out of my mouth that I don't intend.  A sharp response.  An over-reaction, such as last night at dinner time.  Hubby was about to pour some red wine to go with our roast beef dinner and I assumed he was pouring a glass for me.  I wanted it in one of the "red wine" glasses, he was pouring into a different wine glass, the "Beringer"  one we got on our tour of their Napa winery.  Thinking he was pouring for me, like he usually does, I said, "No".  He started to pour.  "NO" I said louder as the wine continued to trickle into the glass.  "NO" I shouted.  He stopped.  Looked at me and I KNEW the filter in my mouth was nowhere in sight.  My words cut him like the electric knife he used to carve the roast.  I couldn't suck them back in and I had hurt him with my unguarded, out of control, tongue. It was like making coffee with no filter. The bitter, rough coffee grinds filling the cup while destroying the rich taste.  Not that I know first hand having never had a cup of coffee myself... just guessing this is what it would taste like!  I quickly apologized and realized then and there, the hormonal changes of peri-menopause were not only a roller coaster ride for me, but one that I was unknowingly dragging my hubby one with me.  Something needs to change!

How does one go about finding a new filter when theirs is missing?  The only thing I can honestly come up with is an intravenously administered boost of the Holy Spirit.  Yep.  It has to be fed from the feeding tube of "Living Water".  It has to pour through my veins and become a part of my insides in order for the filter to begin working.  It's not really that I've lost it.  I think it's just kind of broken right now and in need of repair by the Great Physician, Himself.  I think I need to study the book of James this fall.  He, meaning James, the brother of Jesus, says in James 3:2:  Indeed, we all make many mistakes. For if we could control our tongues, we would be perfect and could also control ourselves in every other way.  That's what I need right now.  A deep infusion of self-control.  Proverbs 13:3 tells me that "Those who control their tongue will have a long life; opening your mouth can ruin everything" as I learned at dinner last night.

Peri-menopause is already taking me for quite a ride, but I'm certain of one thing now ... the Holy Spirit must be in the driver's seat.  If I try and maneuver myself through this on my own, I am sure to crash and who knows who else will be damaged along the way!

_______________

In other happenings around "The Nest" as we like to call our home...

We have a "new" addition to our home this weekend.  For those of  you who know me and have been a long-time friend (or family... I know you read this but never comment - hee hee) you'll remember that my nephew, "E", lived with us off and on throughout his college work placements.  After he graduated, he moved in with a buddy and now that buddy has moved back to his home city, leaving E "homeless".  Not really homeless but for sure not as conveniently placed for work as he was when living with his buddy.  Knowing that he would be moving out of his apartment and knowing that we are closest to where he works, we offered for him to move back in with us while he figures out what his next move is.  So... last Thursday we got the email informing us that he was taking us up on our offer.  Saturday was spent clearing out the guestroom, making room for E's arrival Sunday evening.  It will be a bit of an adjustment having another person in the home again, but E is easy to live with and a lot of fun.  His sense of humor keeps us laughing ALL the time.  If it were not for him living her in the past, I don't think I would have ever learned to golf not that I'm any good at it mind you!

Also this weekend, we rearranged the living room.  I find that on the sofa I have really bad posture.  In order to fix that, hubby came up with the idea of shifting things around so I can sit in my favorite winged back chair to watch t.v.  That way I'll sit up straighter.  The downside is that means he's sitting all the way across the room on the couch so no more holding hands while we watch t.v.  Guess sometimes I'll just have to snuggle in beside him despite the bad posture!  Here's a pic of the room rearranged.  I tried to find one of the room beforehand but so far haven't found one.  Just picture the sofa under the window, the blue table to the right of the window (where the chair is now) and the chair on the left of the picture at the nearest end of the sofa facing towards the window.  (Does that make any sense to you?)

Okay, I'm just going to hop right into this. Last night or was it very early this morning I came across this Meme



over at Linda's blog. I loved her questions so I thought "Hey... that would be fun for tomorrow/today's post" so... here we go...

1. What is something that you have changed your mind about either recently or over a number of years? What haven't I? It is a woman's prerogative to change her mind, right? Anyhoo... I would have to say that probably the thing I change my mind MOST about in the past number of years is whether to sell our townhouse and move or not. Can't seem to weigh the pros & cons enough to actually make a decision.

2. Choose either subject, but does your a) church b) job feel more like a dental chair experience or an easy chair (recliner) experience? This one is easy... when I worked my job felt like a dental chair experience... most jobs where I'm tied down 9-5 feel that way to me. To be honest, sometimes church feels like an easy chair (warm, relaxing, enjoyable) and other times it feels like a dental chair (scary, painful, expensive). Overall though, church is more easy than dental! And may I just add... I HATE going to the dentist. Brings up way too many childhood traumas!

3. Kisses or hugs? I actually typed "huts," which might have been a more interesting question. Depends on who we're talking about on the giving/receiving end of things. From hubby... kisses AND hugs... the more the merrier! From family and friends, best to keep it to hugs. I'm a HUGE hugger so beware if you meet me in person... you may feel like you're being entrapped by a boa constrictor! Squeeze!

4. What do you think is the biggest threat to families today? Whoa... the BIGGEST threat? Hmm... probably leaving God out of the home and individual lives. I don't think we fully grasp the spiritual protection the Holy Spirit brings to our homes and when we push God out, we leave the doors open for satan to reign supreme in individual lives and families.

5. A day after you grocery shop, you open a perishable item that is horribly spoiled. Do you take your receipt back to the store to be reimbursed or just throw it away and forget about it? This was a good question. I have done both so it depends on a couple of factors... how much did I spend for the item? If it's not a lot then is it worth the money to go back? This is really something that I decide on a case-by-case instance, but fortunately it doesn't happen often.

6. What personality trait (feel free to address good or bad or both) do you notice yourself adopting from your parents? Another goodie... From my Mom I think I gained her gift of hospitality; Sometimes I "hear" her laugh in my own (which freaks me out since she's been dead for almost 6 years); Unfortunately, I gained her housekeeping skills (or lack thereof) and her "low maintenance" beauty regime (which I guess can be good or bad). From my Dad I gained a lot of my physical appearance... particularly my blue eyes; I can be a worrier like my Dad and Grandma and I can be a little critical (which both Dad & I have improved on greatly in the recent past!). I guess that's enough dirty laundry for that question!

7. How many slices of bread do you leave in the bottom of the bag when you throw it away? Two? Three? Just the heel? None? (I really want to know if you eat the heel.) Oooh such a wasteful question! I regret to say that I tend to leave one or both "heels" in the bottom of the bag & sometimes, depending on how long the bread has been in the fridge, a few more pieces. With only two in our household (and me being the one mostly eating the bread) we tend to be a little more wasteful than I care to admit (yet I am admitting it - strange how these Memes act like a confessional).

8. What mispronunciation or usage error really irritates you? Oh my... this one is an easy one. Supposibly instead of "supposedly"makes me crazy. My grandparents were sticklers for grammar and drilled it into our heads as children so I tend to go a little crazy when words are used incorrectly. I dare not say anymore for fear of offending some friends with other examples.

9. In honor of the uniqueness of today's date, what does the numeral 9 mean to you? (Any special life moments attached to the 9th? Are you the 9th kid in your family? Can you count by 9s really fast? etc.) Um... I passed Grade 9... oh wait... I passed MOST of Grade 9... Um.... nope... 9 doesn't hold any huge significance! Oh well.

10. Does the general color palette in your closet match the colors you chose to decorate your home with? Is yes and no an answer? Yes in that I like pastels and lighter colors so pinks, green, blues... but no in that a lot of my wardrobe is white and I don't think I have a single white wall or decoration in my home.

11. When you're hanging out with friends in the kitchen, do you automatically ask to help, or do you sit there and chat until the host asks if you'd like to help? I'm not implying that the 2nd choice stems from rudeness or laziness, just not a first-response like it is for some people. Oh no... here comes that confessional again... I "offer" to help in the kitchen, but not being someone who LOVES working in the kitchen, I secretly hope they don't need help and am content to just sit and chat and watch.

12. Let's end on a pleasant note: What do you enjoy about September the most? Hmm... I think I love how the leaves start to change and that crispness starts in the air while the days still hold onto the sun's warmth. It's time to pull out the sweaters but a t-shirt is still feasible some days. I love that fresh apples are readily available at the local orchards. I love that the kids are back in school so grocery shopping in the daytime is quiet again (Did I say that outloud?) And I think what I like most is that it feels like a "new year" in that those January New Year's resolutions can be revisited and put into check to see where I've fallen off the bandwagon and need to work on... a fresh start again if you will.


If you want to play along, click on the Meme button above! It's fun!

Ch..Ch..Ch...Changes

Okay. I just have to say... I think I'm starting to really go through the "change"... you know that time in a middle-aged woman's life when her hormones go completely whacky. Yep. I think it's started... big time.

I noticed over the past year that my cycles were changing. Last summer Aunt Flo was on her own little vacation and I didn't see her until September. This year... she's gone again which on one hand isn't so bad. Saves cash for one thing

For the past month I think I've noticed that my body temperature is changing. In years gone by I was ALWAYS cold, especially in the summer with air conditioning on I'd have to bundle up in sweats, etc. While at my sister's house these past couple weeks, I found myself getting hot and clammy despite the air conditioning. I asked my 52 yr old sister, who is nearing the end of the "change", "What do hot flashes feel like?". Her reply, similar to other women I've heard, "feels like a power surge." "Hmm. I think I might be experiencing that."

For those of you in your 30's and early 40's... this is NO FUN! Let me tell you how uncomfortable this "change" is. Last night, I decided that the flannel pj pants I wore the night before were too hot. Instead, I put on a slinky little nightgown, hoping that this little spaghetti strapped number would keep me cool. Long story short... I woke up in a hot sweat this morning... blankets flailing off the bed... gasping for fresh air. The sheets were damp, my hair was damp. "Eve... you got some 'splaining to do girlfriend!!!"

Tonight, hubby has brought a fan upstairs to our room which should hopefully keep me under wraps in the blanket department. It really is a gross feeling when you feel chilled one minute and the next minute your skin feels like it is suffocating with an overheated feeling.

I truly didn't expect for this "change" to happen so soon, having just turned 45 last month, but I guess when your cycle doesn't stop for any length of time with a pregnancy (or two or three), the egg basket depletes a little faster than fertile women's. Oh well... what can ya do? At least my sister and I can go through this together!

Things Nobody Tells You

Has it really been over a week since my last post? Did you think I'd gone to sleep after Little Miss "H" left the building and never woke up? No, I just shut down my brain for the week and vegged... a little too much though because every day that passed, it became harder to think of something to write because I had nothing exciting to share. Oh, I could have told you how my Sims3 family was doing in their fabulous beach front home. I could have shared the details (and frustrations) of trying to plan a real life beach front vacation (which you may still hear about some day). But every time I thought of writing, I just couldn't put fingers to keyboard and the days flew by.

Mid-week I got walloped by the unfortunate effects of perimenopause. I'll just state here, if any men are reading this post (or women who don't enjoy a good TMI moment) you may want to pass over this next section of the post.

There are things in life that nobody tells you... or at least nobody told me. I grew up in a family with 5 females. Mom, and four older sisters. You would think SOMEONE would have warned me about the perils of perimenopause, don't you? Granted two of my four sisters had their "plumbing" removed in their 30's/40's after their children so I guess I can't blame them. They are completely unaware of just what they've missed. My Mom passed away 2 months after my 39th birthday so she isn't around to fill me in. Then there's my sweet sister in NC who we talk about EVERYTHING but at 52 (or is she 53 now... I've lost track... could do the math but I'm too lazy!) is just now thinking she is finished and "didn't really notice" the changes. WHAT??? How could that be?

I need you, my peeps, to walk with me down this crazy road. For those of you in your mid to late 30's... listen up... you'll want to hear this! For those of you in your 40's (early, mid, late) or beyond HELP!!

I turn 45 (can barley type that without going into some sort of gag reflex) in 5 weeks. For the past two years my previous "clockwork" cycles have gone completely haywire and unpredicatable. Last summer, for instance, I didn't have a single period the entire 3 months of summer. In our almost 15 years of marriage I've never been pregnant (other than the doctor induced one during artificial inseminations back in 1999 which lasted all of 2 days). Never miscarried that I've ever been able to tell (other than said experience above). Stopped doing home pregnancy tests LONG ago after numerous let downs of negative strips. I just waited all summer long for good ole "Aunt Flo" to show her ugly face but she didn't.

When she did show... holy Moses... I thought I was going to bleed to death... but I won't go into all the gorey details. Since that experience last summer, my cycle now goes from maybe one or two "normal" months to one humungously long one... like this month. And the cramps... oh my. Sometimes I think they are coming to stay for a week along with Aunt Flo!

Before this week, I hadn't seen "her" since mid-May. Of course, I don't mind in some ways not seeing her but when she disappears like that it's never a good thing because I know that when she does arrive... whoa... does she arrive! The worst thing about her showing up late is that she brings with her those excrutiating cramps. I mean the "Is this what labour feels like?" type of cramps. The "I can't even touch my belly it hurts so bad" type of cramps.

Then there is the... how do I say this without being too graphic and gross... the flow. For the first two days I felt like I was going to hemmorage the flow was so heavy. Gross, painful, messy. Some days I think I'll smack Eve upside the head when I get to heaven! I'm keeping the femine hygiene product business in the black that's for sure!

So... what I want to know is ... are any of you out there experiencing this too? How are you coping? I fortunately haven't gotten to the hot flash stage (although it might be kind of nice to feel warm in the winter... finally!). I don't really have any of the other symptoms of emotional crankiness (thanks to God I'm sure!) nor the insomina, etc. It all seems to linger around the menstral area for now. Any thoughts? Any comfort you can give?

So, that's where I've been this week - first of the week recouping from the previous two weeks - end of the week suffering with Aunt Flo's arrival and feeling quite sorry for myself if truth be told. Gotta love being a woman! Blech!

And just think... this is only ONE of those things nobody tells you! Can't wait to find out the rest!!