Lost Filter

I lost my filter.  No... not the coffee maker kind.  Not even the one in the car engine, the furnace or where ever else a handy filter might come in around the house.  Nope.  The filter I lost is the one that filters through what runs from my brain and out of my mouth.

I'm not sure how or where I lost this filter.  Hubby seems to think it started around the time of heightened peri-menopause symptoms.  Nonetheless, not having this very important filter may cause a little embarrassment and a lot of apologizing in the near future unless I can find a new one.

You see... things pop out of my mouth that I don't intend.  A sharp response.  An over-reaction, such as last night at dinner time.  Hubby was about to pour some red wine to go with our roast beef dinner and I assumed he was pouring a glass for me.  I wanted it in one of the "red wine" glasses, he was pouring into a different wine glass, the "Beringer"  one we got on our tour of their Napa winery.  Thinking he was pouring for me, like he usually does, I said, "No".  He started to pour.  "NO" I said louder as the wine continued to trickle into the glass.  "NO" I shouted.  He stopped.  Looked at me and I KNEW the filter in my mouth was nowhere in sight.  My words cut him like the electric knife he used to carve the roast.  I couldn't suck them back in and I had hurt him with my unguarded, out of control, tongue. It was like making coffee with no filter. The bitter, rough coffee grinds filling the cup while destroying the rich taste.  Not that I know first hand having never had a cup of coffee myself... just guessing this is what it would taste like!  I quickly apologized and realized then and there, the hormonal changes of peri-menopause were not only a roller coaster ride for me, but one that I was unknowingly dragging my hubby one with me.  Something needs to change!

How does one go about finding a new filter when theirs is missing?  The only thing I can honestly come up with is an intravenously administered boost of the Holy Spirit.  Yep.  It has to be fed from the feeding tube of "Living Water".  It has to pour through my veins and become a part of my insides in order for the filter to begin working.  It's not really that I've lost it.  I think it's just kind of broken right now and in need of repair by the Great Physician, Himself.  I think I need to study the book of James this fall.  He, meaning James, the brother of Jesus, says in James 3:2:  Indeed, we all make many mistakes. For if we could control our tongues, we would be perfect and could also control ourselves in every other way.  That's what I need right now.  A deep infusion of self-control.  Proverbs 13:3 tells me that "Those who control their tongue will have a long life; opening your mouth can ruin everything" as I learned at dinner last night.

Peri-menopause is already taking me for quite a ride, but I'm certain of one thing now ... the Holy Spirit must be in the driver's seat.  If I try and maneuver myself through this on my own, I am sure to crash and who knows who else will be damaged along the way!

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In other happenings around "The Nest" as we like to call our home...

We have a "new" addition to our home this weekend.  For those of  you who know me and have been a long-time friend (or family... I know you read this but never comment - hee hee) you'll remember that my nephew, "E", lived with us off and on throughout his college work placements.  After he graduated, he moved in with a buddy and now that buddy has moved back to his home city, leaving E "homeless".  Not really homeless but for sure not as conveniently placed for work as he was when living with his buddy.  Knowing that he would be moving out of his apartment and knowing that we are closest to where he works, we offered for him to move back in with us while he figures out what his next move is.  So... last Thursday we got the email informing us that he was taking us up on our offer.  Saturday was spent clearing out the guestroom, making room for E's arrival Sunday evening.  It will be a bit of an adjustment having another person in the home again, but E is easy to live with and a lot of fun.  His sense of humor keeps us laughing ALL the time.  If it were not for him living her in the past, I don't think I would have ever learned to golf not that I'm any good at it mind you!

Also this weekend, we rearranged the living room.  I find that on the sofa I have really bad posture.  In order to fix that, hubby came up with the idea of shifting things around so I can sit in my favorite winged back chair to watch t.v.  That way I'll sit up straighter.  The downside is that means he's sitting all the way across the room on the couch so no more holding hands while we watch t.v.  Guess sometimes I'll just have to snuggle in beside him despite the bad posture!  Here's a pic of the room rearranged.  I tried to find one of the room beforehand but so far haven't found one.  Just picture the sofa under the window, the blue table to the right of the window (where the chair is now) and the chair on the left of the picture at the nearest end of the sofa facing towards the window.  (Does that make any sense to you?)