Things Nobody Tells You

Has it really been over a week since my last post? Did you think I'd gone to sleep after Little Miss "H" left the building and never woke up? No, I just shut down my brain for the week and vegged... a little too much though because every day that passed, it became harder to think of something to write because I had nothing exciting to share. Oh, I could have told you how my Sims3 family was doing in their fabulous beach front home. I could have shared the details (and frustrations) of trying to plan a real life beach front vacation (which you may still hear about some day). But every time I thought of writing, I just couldn't put fingers to keyboard and the days flew by.

Mid-week I got walloped by the unfortunate effects of perimenopause. I'll just state here, if any men are reading this post (or women who don't enjoy a good TMI moment) you may want to pass over this next section of the post.

There are things in life that nobody tells you... or at least nobody told me. I grew up in a family with 5 females. Mom, and four older sisters. You would think SOMEONE would have warned me about the perils of perimenopause, don't you? Granted two of my four sisters had their "plumbing" removed in their 30's/40's after their children so I guess I can't blame them. They are completely unaware of just what they've missed. My Mom passed away 2 months after my 39th birthday so she isn't around to fill me in. Then there's my sweet sister in NC who we talk about EVERYTHING but at 52 (or is she 53 now... I've lost track... could do the math but I'm too lazy!) is just now thinking she is finished and "didn't really notice" the changes. WHAT??? How could that be?

I need you, my peeps, to walk with me down this crazy road. For those of you in your mid to late 30's... listen up... you'll want to hear this! For those of you in your 40's (early, mid, late) or beyond HELP!!

I turn 45 (can barley type that without going into some sort of gag reflex) in 5 weeks. For the past two years my previous "clockwork" cycles have gone completely haywire and unpredicatable. Last summer, for instance, I didn't have a single period the entire 3 months of summer. In our almost 15 years of marriage I've never been pregnant (other than the doctor induced one during artificial inseminations back in 1999 which lasted all of 2 days). Never miscarried that I've ever been able to tell (other than said experience above). Stopped doing home pregnancy tests LONG ago after numerous let downs of negative strips. I just waited all summer long for good ole "Aunt Flo" to show her ugly face but she didn't.

When she did show... holy Moses... I thought I was going to bleed to death... but I won't go into all the gorey details. Since that experience last summer, my cycle now goes from maybe one or two "normal" months to one humungously long one... like this month. And the cramps... oh my. Sometimes I think they are coming to stay for a week along with Aunt Flo!

Before this week, I hadn't seen "her" since mid-May. Of course, I don't mind in some ways not seeing her but when she disappears like that it's never a good thing because I know that when she does arrive... whoa... does she arrive! The worst thing about her showing up late is that she brings with her those excrutiating cramps. I mean the "Is this what labour feels like?" type of cramps. The "I can't even touch my belly it hurts so bad" type of cramps.

Then there is the... how do I say this without being too graphic and gross... the flow. For the first two days I felt like I was going to hemmorage the flow was so heavy. Gross, painful, messy. Some days I think I'll smack Eve upside the head when I get to heaven! I'm keeping the femine hygiene product business in the black that's for sure!

So... what I want to know is ... are any of you out there experiencing this too? How are you coping? I fortunately haven't gotten to the hot flash stage (although it might be kind of nice to feel warm in the winter... finally!). I don't really have any of the other symptoms of emotional crankiness (thanks to God I'm sure!) nor the insomina, etc. It all seems to linger around the menstral area for now. Any thoughts? Any comfort you can give?

So, that's where I've been this week - first of the week recouping from the previous two weeks - end of the week suffering with Aunt Flo's arrival and feeling quite sorry for myself if truth be told. Gotta love being a woman! Blech!

And just think... this is only ONE of those things nobody tells you! Can't wait to find out the rest!!