One Word… One Thing… One Lesson!

There seems to be a theme running through my mind this weekend and it starts with the word "One".

Yesterday, while chatting with a friend online, I was challenged by something she had mentioned about a challenge she took last year, and again this year, called One Word 365.  Instead of making New Year's Resolutions, this challenge encourages us to seek the one word we can grasp onto for 365 days to bring about change in our lives.  One word.  One focus.  One day at a time.  One step at a time.  One Word from God to draw us closer to His presence.

As I began to ponder the changes this challenge has made in my friend's life, hope began to bubble up in me.  Could I take one word and hand it over to God?   Could I focus on that word and what God wants to do in my life for 365 days?  Do I dare believe that I can gain victory in the area of that one word?  I spent time amidst my errands and quiet moments yesterday and again today thinking about what word I sensed God placing on my heart.  One Word.

This morning, with that one word rolling around in my brain, I listened to the "first message of 2014" at church this morning.  "C", one of our elders, shared about the journey God had taken him on in 2013 and where God wanted to take him (and all of us) in 2014.  It comes down to One Thing, he shared.  One Thing.  One focus.  One heart.  One mind.  One day at a time.  One step at a time.  One heart set on God, knowing Him, following Him, loving Him.  One Thing.

I listened to his words with great hope, great encouragement and great resolve that my One Word would help me in grasping this One Thing.  So today, this 5th day of January, I choose to share my One Word as a way of accountability.  A way of declaring my choice to desire the One Thing and to take the steps of action needed to make 2014 a victorious year.  This One Word I have chosen is something I lacked hugely in 2013 and anyone who knows me (or my blog) would have to agree that this is the one One Word I most need today, especially with a move looming over my head in a few short weeks.  With God's help, supernatural focus and some much needed discipline, 2014 will be the year for this…

I chose this word because my life this past year has been off kilter.  Unbalanced.  I'm not a juggler by nature.  I get one ball up in the air and try to toss one or two others and they all come crashing down.  If I do well in work, home, health and God suffer.  If I do home well, God and work suffer.  If I'm honest,  I rarely do God well (for if I did, the rest wouldn't suffer near as much).  On my own strength, this Type B, lazy bum can't get it together, but with the help of the Holy Spirit… who knows how many balls I will be able to juggle at once and well?!  So balance… finding the time, the energy, the focus and mind to be all that God wants me to be in each area of my life.  That is my One Word for 2014!

The Years The Locusts Ate Away

I remember reading a verse in Joel (verse 25) years ago that says, "I will repay the years the locusts ate away".  I understood that verse to be a promise from God that He would restore me from the pain and devastation from my past.  Over the years I have watched Him do just that and this weekend in particular that verse resounds most true.

Six and half years ago, a couple years after my Mom had passed away, I met a young woman in our church small group who had just lost her mother.  "C" was single, early 20's and heartbroken by this much-too-early, tragic loss.  As her first Mother's Day without her Mom present, I knew from personal experience how difficult it can be to not have your Mother (and not be a Mother) on this holiday dedicated to Moms.  So, I invited "C" to join me in protesting the day and asked if she wanted to play hookie with me from church for that day.

The two of us did just that.  We met mid-morning and head out for lunch and then to the quaint village of Niagara-on-the-Lake, just down the road from Niagara Falls.  We wandered the little shops and stopped in at the Trish Romance gallery.  Both of us were hugely fond of the talents Trish demonstrated in her homey paintings and we both were delighted to find that Trish was actually in her gallery that day, signing autographs.  For "C" this was extra special as her parents had many of Trish's framed prints and paintings in their home.  It was if God Himself was planning each detail of "C"'s day (which of course He was!).

This little field trip began a bond between the two of us and morphed into a mentoring relationship that saw "C" through the ups and downs of the next few years as she dated and experienced heartbreak.  Then, just as she was preparing to head to Africa as a missionary, God blossomed a friendship she was starting with a certain young man in our church who had befriended my Hubby.

Hubby and I became match-makers extraordinaire as we listened to each of these two young folks as "A" overcame incredible shyness and "C" wrapped her head around God's timing in bringing them together.  For two years they corresponded, Skyped and visited one another half way around the world when they could.  Love eventually blossomed and plans for a future were starting to take shape.

About a year ago I got a call from "C" all the way from Africa.  She and "A" had talked about the fact that marriage was on the horizon and she called to ask if I would consider being her "Mother of the Bride" at her wedding.  I was blown away by the request.  Me?  Mother of the Bride?  Oh how God has restored the years the locusts ate away.  He has taken this barren woman and made her a "Mother". How amazing is He!

I of course told "C" how honoured I was by the request and said "yes!" and here we are... on the eve of her wedding.

As "C" has gone into this week it hasn't been without lots of tears.  No young woman should have to walk down the aisle on her big day without her Mom there at the end of the aisle to greet her with a smile.  For "C" that isn't possible but I wanted to do something this week to help ease her longing heart.  I asked God to show me how I could connect her Mom and me that would have meaning for "C".  I went to Hallmark to see what I could find.  I looked at frames and little books.  Nothing was jumping out at me.  Flustered because I didn't have much time to shop I quickly spun around and there my eyes fell upon a Willow Tree Angel.

 I picked her up and read what she said...

This was it... the perfect gift!  I quickly purchased it and then hurried home to meet up with my niece who was coming for lunch.

Last night after the rehearsal dinner, "C" and I sat down and she opened the gift.  She looked at me with tears in her eyes.  "Did you know I collect Willow Tree Angels?  And I don't have this one!"   I was flabbergasted!  I did not know she collected Willow Tree Angels... but God did!  I KNEW at this moment that God had led me to this gift.

Tomorrow I will walk down the aisle before my "Daughter-in-the-Lord" and represent her Mother as I light her family's candle.  I will be honoured to do so and I will be ever so grateful for the gift of not only a "Daughter" in "C", but in being able to check off another "Mom" moment I would never otherwise had.

God truly has proven to "restore the years the locusts ate away" and I am truly grateful!

Hello Out There... Is This Thing Working??

Don't fall off of your computer chairs or sofas ladies (and men if you're out there reading this too)... I am actually here... writing in this long forgotten blog.  It's not that I've truly forgotten it of course, or you my precious online pals.  Life has just ramped up in speed over the past 9 months and I am coming up for air - finally!  I've missed you and missed visiting all of you!

As I read my last post I was saddened to realize that not one single "resolution" I wrote about back in January came to be.  How sad considering it's only the end of March.  I guess it's true.  I truly stink at resolutions and I am far more undisciplined than I care to admit.  Anyhoo... that's the facts!  There's always next year.

The biggest hurdle I've had to leap over in the last fast-paced three quarters of a year is finding balance in life.  In my heart I know and understand that a godly life is a balanced life.  Unfortunately, I believe I missed that gene called discipline!  When I started my new career as a travel consultant (which I am LOVING btw), I didn't realize how much this little "part-time" job was going to take over my life.  I guess that, in some ways, is to be expected when the learning curve is so steep.  Now that I'm "more seasoned", I seem to be quicker at quoting clients and better able to balance the ebb and flow of this industry.  (Right now I'm in an ebb I think).  This ebb has afforded me the time to actually catch my breath and think a little clearer.  I've come to realize the other areas of my life that have been horrifically out of balance since starting this job.

Cleaning my house well (okay... confession time... AT ALL) has been one of the areas that got tossed aside as I diligently worked at my desk each day and evening.  Who would have thought that sweeping and washing my floors would bring such delight.  This morning I was able to pull out my beloved Norwex products and clean my home in preparation for my in-laws to come for Good Friday Easter dinner... and it felt GOOD! (Tackling my cluttered kitchen is top on the agenda this week... or next!)  I'm super stoked about making time soon to do "Spring Cleaning"too... my windows are in desperate need of a little TLC and the house could really use a little shovelling out!

Mostly though, it is my spiritual life that has been most out of balance.  Do you ever find those times where you are SO busy "living" that you forget about "abiding"?  That's where I've been and my soul can feel it.  My prayer life feels rushed.  I hurry through my daily Bible reading just to check it off the "to do" list.  I hate when I get like this.  I feel cranky, miserable and out of sorts.  Not the most enjoyable person to be around.  (Poor Hubby!)  I am so grateful for our ladies' Bible study at church.  Right now we're working through Jennifer Rothschild's "Missing Pieces" and just being IN the Word regularly is fuelling that longing for more of Him.  

As Easter weekend approaches, I hope to take time to quietly reflect on Jesus' incredible sacrifice.  This week I have been abundantly aware of my sins and each loss of temper and unbridled word from my lips (and mind) has reminded me that it in part it was MY sins that nailed Jesus to that cross.  Oh how amazing is His grace, that saved a wretched sinner like me!

Thank you Jesus that in spite of my selfishness and sins, You still choose to love me.  Thank you that You were willing to pay the punishment for my sins that first Easter weekend!  Help me to be mindful of Your great sacrifice not only at Easter, but each and every day!  Amen

New Year's Resolutions

Hello Blogging Friends... I hope you don't mind but considering I am SO behind in my blogging details I am going to neglect to finish our London tour from "last" year.  It's ridiculous how bad I've become at blogging.

Did you have a good Christmas?  Make any New Year's Resolutions?

I made a few resolutions this year and if truth be told, like millions of others I didn't make it past January 1st before I broke them.  Ah the fun of trying each year!

One of the things that I NEED to resolve to do in this year is get back to losing weight and changing my eating/exercise habits.  In 2011 I did an amazing job of losing 14 lbs but after 2 almost back to back cruises, good habits fell by the wayside in 2012 and those pounds came creeping back with a couple extras tagging along.  Oh the pains of menopause and a halted metabolism.  (That's my excuse and I'm sticking with it!).

Another resolution I made this year is to find better balance between home, ministry and my new career as a cruise and travel consultant.  I am LOVING my new job, but because I'm still new at it, the research involved in getting my clients off on their dream vacation takes me longer as I scan every possibility I can for them.  Last Fall I felt like I was really dropping the ball with Abide, although my sweet team members didn't make me feel that way.  It was my own perfectionistic pressures I think.  But nonetheless, what began as a "part-time" job seems to be taking up "full-time" hours in my life and I'm trying to find the balance.  I think the difficult part is that my "job" came out of my beloved "hobby" of researching travel.  It's hard to NOT do what I love even in the evenings when I have what used to be "spare" time.  Now it is just working hours.  (Am I even making sense?)

One of my resolutions that I have been able to keep so far this year is getting into the Word every day. I decided not to read the Bible in a Year like I have in past years because I knew that I would fail at that so instead I'm reading a few devotionals each morning and pondering on those, as well as working my way through Angela Thomas' book "Choosing Joy" and writing in my prayer journal almost daily.

Have you made any resolutions this year?  How are you doing with them?

I hope to be able to come back and tell you I'm doing much better on all counts. Truly that's what these resolutions are aren't they?  Their check points in life.  Goals to better ourselves.  Some days we succeed while other days we fail.  The key though is to keep moving forward and not be in the same place as last year.  We aim to be in a better place.  A healthier place in every aspect of our lives.  That's my 2013 resolution.  Not to be who I was Dec 31, 2012 but to be a better, all-round Sue by Dec 31, 2013... and the year after that... and after that... and so on and so on.

One last thing... if you have time, be sure to check out my new travel blog Vacation Dream Maker and/or my Facebook Page at https://www.facebook.com/SueHawkesExpediaCruiseShipCentersMississauga.  If you need help planning your next vacation, whether in Canada or the U.S., let me know.  I'd love to help!

Feeling Helpless

I haven't been around for a few days because life has felt, since last Thursday, a little out of control.  Unfortunately, I can't go into details at this point but I will say that once again, my Abide study is becoming more reality than theory... and I feel helpless.

The issue isn't with me, which is why I can't elaborate at this time.  It's with a friend of mine and what she is going through is excruciating. We sit and wonder sometimes why God allows so much pain to happen in one family's lives and we have no answers other than that God knows, God cares, and He's in the midst of their journey.

It is for that reason that Tuesday's Top 10 was not on this week.  I couldn't get my brain wrapped around it, when my heart and mind are in a 180 degree different place.  So, today, I leave you with my "unspoken request" for my friends who are hurting today.  Soon, I may be able to share more and have you pray in specifics, but for now this must do!

I'll be back soon and get back to my Joy Dare.  (To be honest... I've been stumped on Day 11's challenge which hasn't helped in the blogging lull).

Sweet 16 and Every Day Kissed

Today is a day of reflection and celebration.  It was precisely 16 years ago this moment (as I type this) that a young(ish) 30 year old woman and her Mother, Sister and BFF were making their way to the hairdresser with flowing white veil in hand.  They laughed and chattered while Marilyn quickly made up these women into visions of beauty, not that they weren't already of course!

The young bride and her BFF were last to get their "do's" done and they made it back to the bride's parents' home just as the photographer arrived.  Literally jumping into her silk gown, the young bride started off her wedding day with a smear of lipstick on her otherwise pure dress.  Oopsie! (Is that some sort of good luck charm?)  Pictures were taken.  Memories were made.  It wasn't too long before the bridal party hopped into cars on their way to the church where the bride's Prince Charming awaited.

Upon arriving at the church, the bride was awakened to her tremendous fear of commitment but held gripped tightly to her Daddy's suit sleeve as she walked down the aisle to the strains of classical music she wore a plastered on smile while thoughts of becoming the Runaway Bride flashed in her brain.  All that ceased though, the minute the bride took the groom's hand and walked up the steps to the pastor.  Then, magically, as if no one else in the world existed, the bride promised her heart to the one who'd stolen hers only 10 months prior.

The young couple vowed to love, honor and cherish one another until death separated them.  Once their golden rings were firmly in place, the wedding license signed and the kiss that sealed the deal was placed gently upon one another's soft lips, the young couple began their descent down the church aisle as Mr. and Mrs.

With the guests gone, the gifts unwrapped and their tan marks (and allergic reaction to shell fish) from Aruba fading, the young couple settled into their new life together with all the hopes and dreams of every newlywed couple... babies.  But for this young couple, that dream wasn't to be.  The next decade would be filled with tears and frustrations, sickness and heartache, yet the young couple would not allow for any of that to break down the bond of love that God had placed within their hearts.  They were a team.  Through thick and thin, "sickness and health", "in good times and bad" they were determined to weather the storms of life... and they did.

Today, sixteen years later, the no-longer "young" couple are more in love than ever.  They have come to a peaceful place with their disappointments in the inability to expand their family.  They have instead chosen to embrace their family of two which allows them more time and energy to focus on their love for one another and extended family and friends.  They have treasured the life God gave them as a couple and don't look back on the "what might have beens" of  the past.

Today, the couple celebrate love and a life well lived together and they anticipate a bright and love-filled future all the while praising God for the gift of one another.

Happy Anniversary to my Sweet Hubby!  Thank you for the best 16 years of my life!  Can't wait for the next 16+.

Waiting at the back of the church with Dad

Phew... it's official!  We're Mr. & Mrs.!

Greeting guests in the Receiving Line

Mmm... sharing our first piece of the 

delicious cake my Mom made

Tears of a Fan

That old Smokey Robinson song, "Tears of a Clown" just popped in my head as I was thinking of what to title today's post.  I had to change the last word though because although I can act very "clownish", today's tears came about as a result of watching Carrie Underwood (of whom I am a HUGE fan) in her just released new video for her single Mama's Song.

In the video, Carrie is singing to her actual Mom about her wedding day in which she hands her Mom a homemade scrapbook as she leaves for her honeymoon with her new husband, Canadian hockey player, Mike Fisher (who is also in the video with Carrie).

I've always been a fan of Carrie's, ever since she first showed up on the American Idol stage years ago, but her relationship with Mike has really upped the anti so to speak in my obsessive need to follow their lives fan interest.  My friend and I are always quick to share any new tidbits of information we glean about our favorite couple, such as pictures of them shopping in a quaint little Eastern Ontario town near where they visit family, or details about their wedding from my "inside source" (aka my niece whose in-laws were at the wedding!).  This song of Carrie's really touched my heart when I first heard it on her "Play On" CD.  Carrie co-wrote the song and I immediately knew it was about Mike, before their engagement was announced.  To see the video just about bursts my heart with joy for this young couple as they start their lives as a godly, young family.  I wish them nothing but God's blessings, joy and marital bliss!

Here's the video for you to watch... but you may need a tissue... like I did!  Enjoy!

Just What the Love Dr. Ordered

Today was a good day.  I was up early to shower and get ready for church.  Grabbing my cup of tea, we head out into the frigid weather, hopped in the car with the windows creatively frosted by The Master Artist, and raced off to church.

Our pastor was preaching from Psalm 23.  We are in the second week of a series called "Break Out".  It is loosely based on the 12-step program from AA, focusing on Scripture and letting go of  "every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up."  (Heb 12:1 NLT).  Last week, Pastor Bob reminded us to be honest and admit that "we are not God.  We don't have it all together and we can't get it together on our own".  Boy did I need to hear that!  Hello... life isn't all about me either!  (How quickly I forgot last week's sermon though as was evidenced in last night's post!)

This morning Pastor Andrew reminded us that "We matter to God".  He knows us.  He loves us.  He has the power to set us free!  We all struggle with different hurts, habits and hang-ups which end up imprisoning us.  Emotional struggles.  Woundedness.  Sin.  All joy-robbers.  All things that keep us from being used by God.

In Psalm 23, probably the most known and recited passage in Scripture, we are shown that God's power is available to refresh us, guide us, comfort us, heal us and ultimately bless us.

Listening to the sermon I felt such encouragement from God.  One of the things that resonated for me was when Pastor Andrew was talking about God's comfort.  My mind wandered back to my darkest days of infertility.  I remembered standing under the hot water in my shower crying, begging God to take away the deep pain in the depths of my heart.  "Why doesn't He take it away?" I would cry out.  In those moments I thought I would never smile again or be able to see a child without breaking into tears wondering why God had abandoned me.  Yet, in the midst of it all, He would comfort me.  It might have come through the reassurances of my precious Hubby, a kind word from a friend or a note of encouragement to hang on, but God was there.

The last point in the sermon was that after God refreshes, guides, comforts and heals us, He blesses us.  His desire is to bless us.  All He really wants from us is obedience.  To trust Him.

I left church feeling hopeful, encouraged and challenged to dig down into those wounded, often sinful places and allow Him to do His refining work in me even further.

After church Hubby and I went for an afternoon date to the movies.  We went to see Leap Year, the new chick flick that opened this weekend starring the adorable Amy Adams.  It was set in Ireland so the scenery was breathtaking.  It was funny, romantic and best of all clean!  It was just what the love doctor ordered for us.  We snuggled in the armless red velvet seats, munching our billion calorie popcorn,sipping our Diet Coke and reconnecting like we so desperately needed.  Hubby's new work responsibilities have been challenging, but times like this that we can carve out just for the two of us to escape everything really helps.

At 6pm while Hubby was upstairs watching football on his computer screen, I was here on my laptop attending Andy Stanley's church at Northpointonline.tv.  Once again God was speaking to me... this time about taking responsibility.  It really was confirmation of the things Hubby and I had discussed the other night and I feel energized and empowered to keep pressing on, hugging in closer to the Father and, well... growing up!  Hopefully I won't lose steam and will really allow God free reign in all those places I've been holding back.