Suspicious Minds

I never used to be suspicious.  Really, I didn't.  But events of the past few months (maybe even years) have made me more so.  What made me think of this was a phone call I received today.

The call came in this afternoon and the call display showed "unknown caller".  Now usually I never take these calls because 9 out of 10 times they are just telemarketers.  Hesitantly I answered the call (and now I'm wondering WHY???!!!).  It was a man with a deep East Indian accent.  He asked if I was Mrs. H***** and immediately my guard went up.  "May I ask whose calling?" I inquired before giving any information out.  He proceeded to tell me he was from some "Canadian Security something or other" and mentioned the up rise of crime in my area.  Does he know about what happened recently? I wondered to myself.  I continued to listen while he rambled on asking questions like "do I live in a house or apartment?" and "do I have a security system installed".  I immediately became suspicious.  My thoughts began to run at break-neck speed in my head: "if you're from Canadian security shouldn't you KNOW if I live in an apartment or house?"  "Do I really want you to know if my house has a security system or not?  You could be a burglar or some other criminal type".  I had thought of getting Hubby on the phone, but as the man rambled on I realized he was most likely from a security company that installs home security systems and he just wants my business.  What ever happened to "don't call us, we'll call you?"  I miss those days.

So... why I'm so FREAKED OUT by calls like this (and strange men coming up to me in the grocery store asking if I want my hair trimmed at their local salon), is that this summer a few "incidents" have happened that have made me a little, shall we say, over-cautious of people.

Back in July, while Hubby was busy working in California, I took the BART (subway) into downtown San Francisco.  If you know me, you know how much I love wandering around this city.  Most times I don't even bother with a map anymore.  This particular bright sunny summer day, I got off the subway and with camera in hand, walked to Chinatown, Nob Hill, Embarcadero (at the Ferry Building) and back to Union Square, snapping pictures of the amazing architecture, all before finding the bus that would take me to the Palace of Fine Arts in the Marina district.  I hadn't a care in the world at this point but that soon changed when on the bus, a tiny, older Chinese woman informs me that a guy was trying to pick-pocket my knapsack.  Being a savy traveller, I knew that my valuables were safe but it still unnerved me to know that someone so evil was trying to harm me.  From that point on in the day my sense of security was tainted and I was definitely more suspicious of people around me and my surroundings.  As you can see... I made it back to the hotel safely!

Fast forward to two weeks ago.  At 10:45 pm I got a call that came in with "private caller" in the display.  Again, normally I don't bother with these calls but I think because of the time of day I thought it less a telemarketer and more likely someone I knew.  I was correct.  It was my next-door neighbor.  Her voice was shaky and I could tell something was wrong.  "Sue, I'm hearing those 'sex' noises again.".  The "sex-noises" she was referring to were sounds Hubby and I had heard over the past 2-3 years coming from our backyard.  We wouldn't hear it all the time but it usually happened in summer, late at night.  We thought it was the neighbors having a "good time", until we actually had the guts to ask because over time it just seemed odd that we'd hear them that clearly.  They of course, thought it was Hubby and me.   What neither of us ever thought was what it actually was.

During that terrified phone call I told my neighbor I'd go up and investigate out my window.  Hubby and I turned off the bedroom light and slowly opened the window.  I could barely hear from the loud roar of the air-conditioning unit in our backyard, but both Hubby & I could faintly hear what "J" was hearing... the sounds of a couple having a VERY good time, moaning and all.  From somewhere I found the courage to call out, "Hello?  Hello!" and then out of the shadows of my neighbor's backyard came a man in a ball cap and jeans into our backyard.  Long story short, the "sex sounds" stopped when I called out and he appeared and he gave us some story about being a neighbor a couple doors down and heard something too.  He even suggested it was someone across the fence... in the police station parking lot.  (uh... ya fella!  That's where it's coming from!)  I was still on the phone and instructed my neighbor to put her back light on and the guy quickly took off "to investigate down the row of townhouses".

Interestingly enough, when the police came to talk to "J" (and us), they had also gotten a call from another woman at the other end of our units who had seen the guy peering into her window.  He'd had a busy night I'm guessing.  They haven't caught the creeper yet but he sure has freaked us all out and made me feel rather suspicious of people in my neighborhood now, even the police constable who called to come get more information from Hubby and I later that week!

I don't like being suspicious.  It's taken away my feelings of security, innocence (or what was left of that) and has made me feel more cynical and distrusting of people.  I even feel like it's taken a little of my joy.  But I know that the enemy is behind it all and I really don't want him to "win".  He can't take my true security because that comes from the Lord and he can't really take all my peace because Jesus gives me "peace that passes all understanding".  These incidents have made me realize though that we do live in an evil world and it's not going to get a whole lot better in the future without God and His Holy Spirit coming into people's lives, changing them from darkness to light.  Instead of being afraid of everything and everyone, I need to remember daily, minute by minute, to pray for God's protection in my life, but also to pray for His will to be done on this earth and that includes praying for those who "tresspass" against me, even in my own backyard!