Looking Back Is Good!

The past few weeks in our Ladies' Bible Study at church, (We're doing the DVD series "Anointed, Transformed, Redeemed" by Priscilla Shirer, Beth Moore and Kay Arther on the life of David) Beth Moore has been taking us on a journey of transformation... of letting go of past devastation with God, moving on in whole-hearted obedience (where JOY is overflowing) and being courageous to grasp the fulfillment of God's promises for us.  A few things she shared really brought tears of joy to my eyes as I remembered the "this far" moments God has brought me to where I am today in my relationship with Him.

Getting past my "personal devastation with God" was grueling.  I won't kid you.  The enemy, as Beth said, was "counting on me never getting over it" and for way too long I wasn't.  I was holding God at arms length because He wasn't doing what I wanted or told Him to.  Hello Control Freak... you're NOT God!!.  

One the books I read so long ago on my journey with Christ was this amazing little book called, "Hinds Feet on High Places".  It's an allegory of the adventure of "Much-Afraid", a member of the "Fearing" Family who wants to escape her destiny of marrying "Craven Fear" and instead embark on a pilgrimage with "The Shepherd" to the High Places.  I'd lent out my original copy of this wonderful book so recently I reordered a copy and began to reread it again this morning.  Last time I flipped through the pages, I was "Much-Afraid", constantly bullied by "Craven Fear" and unsure whether I could trust "The Shepherd" and His claims of love for me.  But today as I was reading, those tears of joy began to fill my eyes as I recalled how desperate and fearful I was back then with the contrast of how today I feel I am "leaping and bounding" on the High Places with Jesus.

Rereading Chapter 1 a couple of points jumped out at me that I had to find my highlighter for and I thought I'd share them with you, my blog buddies:

When approached with the opportunity to join The Shepherd in the High Places, Much-Afraid can't begin to fathom living in such a place.  Her joy at the prospect was quickly diffused with thoughts of defeat.  She says to the Shepherd, "These mountains are so steep and dangerous.  I have been told that only the hinds and the deer can move on them safely".  The Shepherd replied, "It is quite true that the way up to the High Places is both difficult and dangerous.  It has to be, so that nothing which is an enemy of Love can make the ascent and invade the Kingdom."

The Shepherd is so right.  Getting to the High Place with God is "not for sissy's" as Beth Moore told us in my Bible Study.  It is hard work!  I remember the rocky terrain so well.  At first the enemy tried to grab my heel to keep me down in the "valley of the shadow of death", but as My Shepherd kept encouraging me and guiding me, I was able to crawl out of that valley with His strength and love empowering me.  It took years mind you.  It wasn't a quick-fix or easy process.

Later in Chapter 1, another sentence screamed out at me.  The Shepherd has shown Much-Afraid the "seed of Love" that He held in His scarred hand.  Looking at this seed - "a long, sharply-pointed thorn", Much-Afraid commented on how sharp the seed looked and she feared it would hurt if The Shepherd inserted it into her heart.  His gentle response was what really struck me:  "It is so sharp that it slips in very quickly.  But Much-Afraid, I have already warned you that Love and pain go together, for a time at least.  If you would know Love, you must know pain too.".

Well... what do you think about that?  None of us likes pain, but as the old exercise adage goes, "No pain, no gain".  The same can be said for our spiritual life too I think.  Without the pain of suffering, we rarely learn about how big our God is and how small we are in comparison.  We learn through pain that He IS the God of all comfort.  I know from personal experience that where I am today is because of the pain I had to endure in order for me to trust Him.  

I shared with our ladies' group last Thursday a testimony to the fact that God is a Transformer.  A little plaque used to sit on the wall in my en-suite that reads, "God will heal your broken heart... if you give Him all the pieces".  God's love and our pain go together.  His love for us cost Him the ultimate pain.  He had to endure beating and ridicule to death... literally.  And then, our Holy God, Christ Jesus, had to endure the depths of hell on my behalf and on your behalf so that we might be free to accept Love and so that we might join Him on the High Places.  

Today I just sit in awe of how God has taken this "Much-Afraid" me, and given me the hooves to bound with Him on the High Places.  I can't wait to relive this journey through my book and continue to give Him the praise and glory for just how far He's brought me!