Bachelor Blunder

I must begin today's post with a confession. Hi. My name is Sue and I'm a reality tv-aholic! Hubby and I have a terrible addiction of loving reality t.v. Not all reality t.v. mind you, but well... enough to classify as needing a 12-step program!

Last night, as many of you have heard, read or watched, was the Bachelor fiasco... I mean finale. Poor Jason, the divorced, single-dad of little Ty made the blunder of all Bachelor blunders. He picked one girl, proposed and then oops... changed his mind for the runner-up. Now, I don't want to judge the guy because a) I've never had the dilemma of being in love with 2 people at the exact same time or b) my hubby experienced similar confusion at the start of our relationship (more on that in a bit). I don't think Jason was wrong in having a change of heart but what I have issue with was if he was SO confused and in love with two women on the last day, WHY would he propose to one of them? That doesn't even remotely make sense to me! I mean seriously, if you watched the finale the guy is practically heaving over the balcony in tears after letting the runner up go. That reaction does not, to me at least, show that he is ready to make a commitment to another girl, asking her to become his betrothed.

As for the confusion, I get that. When I started dating my Sweetie, this other woman from church was interested in him too. She knew his twin sister and so she was able to hang out with them even though he had already asked me out on a date. After our first date he came to my apartment (with gifts in hand as it was Christmas time) and with great hesitation told me that he was going to date this other woman. Similar to Molly in last night's Bachelor show, I knew he was making a mistake and that he wouldn't be happy with his choice, but I told him to "go date her and get her out of your system". In my heart I knew he'd be back! (After he told me this news that evening we enjoyed a meal of Chinese take-out, watched "It's a Wonderful Life" and sat discussing how we would raise children ~ not your typical break up talk wouldn't you say?)

For my honey, it only took about 2-3 weeks for him to realize his heart was with me and a week after he broke things off with the other woman (actually she broke off with him for her own personal reasons~ which I believe was God giving hubby an out) we started to date. That was 15 years ago this past January and we have been happily together ever since! We ended up getting engaged after only a month of dating (2 months if you consider the month of December when we had our first date & second sort-of-date) and were married that October.

I believe the Bachelor show CAN work, but I honestly believe that the reason it doesn't work is that these guys are confusing "Lust" for "Love" and they get all caught up in 25 women throwing themselves at them and ABC lavishing exotic dates on them that only add to the "fantasy" world they live in for those 6 weeks. When reality hits, the couple haven't spent enough time getting to know one another over dinner and a movie or other "normal" dates. For poor Jason, I think he is so in love with the idea of love that he confused "passion" with substance, which I think he may have found in Molly and not Melissa (his first choice). I knew from the start unfortunately that if he chose Melissa for the "final rose" that it wouldn't last. All I saw was lust for the poor girl and not any real depth that would last beyond the cameras rolling. I'm sad to say I was right.

I just finished watching the second After the Final Rose and Jason said something that was key (and may actually be what makes him and Molly work out after all). He said Molly and he are becoming best friends and that she challenges him and makes him a better person. Isn't that what we all want? When it all boils down to it, if you've been married longer than a few years, the passion is great, but it's the best friend you want sitting next to you in a crisis or holding your hand when you're 90. I wish them luck because relationships are hard enough without having all of North America in on it!


Well... glad that show is over... for now. They just announced that fellow Canadian, Jillian is the next Bachelorette. Let's hope she keeps her head screwed on correctly during her season and finds the love of her life like Trista did!